Many moons ago, a journalist came up to Mariah Carey and asked for her thoughts on Jennifer Lopez.

"I don't know her," she replied with a smile.

And in that moment, an infinite stretch of clouds materialized and stretched across the Earth's stratosphere, and the entire planet was plunged into darkness.

Objectively speaking, there is no better thrower of shade in the pop world than the "Emotions" diva herself, Mariah Carey: an Elusive Chanteuse, yes, but also a deeply shady one. No one person — nay, not even the Harvard University graduating class of 2010 — could so flawlessly execute the kind of ruthless type of takedown that the Lambily leader provides. Whether she's shake-shake shaking off her haters, dismissing contemporaries or simply shutting down a dumb interviewer, Mariah provides priceless face and deadly one-liners time and time again, which could and should be employed (to infinity!) in your daily life.

Care to Carey like Mariah? Consult our A-Z in Mimi — err, Meme-mi shade — courtesy of the Tumblrsphere. And remember: This is all in good fun, dahhlings.



4Real4Real?
"Laughing out of anger, but it don't strike me as funny..."
Relevant for: Dumbfounded moments.

Butterfly Besos
"Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye..."
Relevant for: Shake-shaking off a hater.

Charitable
"Wrapped up, packed up / Ribbon with a bow on it..."
Relevant for: Assisting lessers in furthering their agenda by slandering your good name.

Congenial
"All up in the blogs, sayin' we met at the bar..."
Relevant for: Meeting someone for the first time.

Don't Know Her
Relevant for: Literally Everything. The Holy Grail.

(Still) Don't Know Her
"No I can't forget this evening or your face as you were leaving..."
Relevant for: When "I Don't Know Her" just ain't enough.

Disbelief
"I can't believe you just actually did this shit to me..."
Relevant for: Wronged moments.

Elevated
"Touch my body, put me on the floor..."
Relevant for: A Mortal Kombat finishing move.

Empowered
"I finally built up the strength to walk away..."
Relevant for: When all that glitters ain't gold.

Godiva Goodness
"My sweet thang, like candy..."
Relevant for: Shade served during dessert. Hold the Eminems.

Interrupted
"You need to go / Don't look so surprised..."
Relevant for: Shine stealers.

Shady, Literally
"Gotta board the BBJ and pull the shades down..."
Relevant for: Passing by undesirables in the flesh.

Smile, Dahhling
"I fake a smile and deal with the side effects..."
Relevant for: Seeing your ex's relationship status change on Facebook.

Snappy
"Silent night, Holy night..."
Relevant for: Long car trips, nagging boyfriends and telemarketers.

Subtle-tea
"No one reaches out a hand for you to hold..."
Relevant for: A post-mani shutdown.

Tea
"Ain't none of my business, it's tea though..."
Relevant for: Sharing a particularly juicy bit of gossip over splashes at brunch.

Tickled
"Laughing out of anger, but it don't strike me as funny..."
Relevant for: Pure comedy.

Unapologetic
"Sorry I never told you all I wanted to say..."
Relevant for: Taking the last slice of Frito Pie at the party.

Unaware
"I would never be rude to you, baby..."
Relevant for: Who? Did what? Why should you care?

Youthful
"I was a girl, you was a man / I was too young to understand..."
Relevant for: Schooling the children.


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