Amy Schumer lampoons "relatable celebrities" in a new Inside Amy Schumer skit aired Thursday (May 26) on Comedy Central, and she does so by mildly abusing Selena Gomez.

In the clip, Amy Schumer is just your "regular, normal person"... except with a private zeppelin that never touches the ground ("for tax reasons"), a nameless maid and personal assistant, a pet dinosaur, and a talk-show. (Hey, we've all been there, right?)

She also has her very own house band—Selena Gomez and the Schume-Tones—to play her very own theme: "She has a chef for her dog. She bought a convent in Prague. She owns three pre-cogs. This girl is just like you! Cha cha! This girl is just like you!"

Referring to Gomez as both "Selenia" and "Rosetta Stone," a backhanded compliment to the pop star's English-speaking skills, Amy gushes, "Look how good your English has gotten! I looove."

Gomez furrows her brow. "I was born in Texas," she replies bluntly.

The delusional celebrity continues to show just how "relatable" she is by shredding her cell phone (she just gets a new one every time she makes a call, to avoid those pesky hackers), spying on her maid, and interviewing a "poor person"—her pilot.

Unfortunately, her head's so far up in the clouds that she doesn't realize that without the pilot, her zeppelin can't, you know, continue flying. Luckily she has her personal assistant, her sister Kim, to use as a human parachute when things go south. Watch below:

Amy Schumer's Many Memorable Characters