Beyonce and Jay Z are one of our all-time biggest couple crushes, even though they're not quite "#relationshipgoals" because their level of wealth, power and fame are wholly unrelatable. If you go solely by Beyonce's immaculately-curated Instagram feed, the pair is either at the beach or stunning in formal wear at all times. But given their respective talent, their three-year-old daughter Blue Ivy and the fact that they support each other both on and offstage, we want them together for life. Some OTHER outlets, however, want to tear their Drunk-in-Love house asunder.

Bey and Jay are hanging on by a thread, according to a new "exclusive" from Radar online. Forget every past divorce rumor that's come and gone — this time it's allegedly for real, because an anonymous staffer at their new Beverly Hills rental says they're sleeping apart.

"Jay Z and Beyonce each have their own bedrooms,” the employee, who is surely soon to be fired if he/she does in fact exist, told Radar. “They are on opposite sides of a long hallway with Blue Ivy’s room in between them.”

Radar's theory on the cause of the fissure is simple: Beyonce is being a big ol' b---h [according to also anonymous sources]. At the time of their move, the source claimed “Beyonce blew up at Jay Z for no reason and was barking orders at everyone like she was the first person to ever move into a new home."

“They got into a huge fight in front of everyone over how he is handling the move. He told her that they only reason they chose this place to begin with is because it is what she wanted, not him. He told her that he is really sick and tired of being her b---h,” they continued. Wow, a stressed-out couple fighting over a move, how unprecedented! "Rough move, husband not helping" is definitely the cause stamped on almost every divorce document, according to my own anonymous "source" at a courthouse I can't name.

Here's the thing: Even if there's some truth to these claims, we don't know the reason behind it. One of them could have sleep apnea, or restless leg syndrome or something else that makes sharing a bed nightmarish. To take it a step further, even if their relationship is a sham these days, a divorce would still be a shock. Not just because we're rooting for them, but because these are two business-focused people who know how their fans would react to a split. You could argue that every marriage is a ultimately financial agreement, and that's taken to an extreme in their case: Their marriage is a brand. One they've toured on.

Maybe it's just denial, since a quiet divorce announcement timed for when we're all distracted with the holidays would be a real turd in our stocking. But it just doesn't track with what we've historically seen from the two — a Beyonce-Jay Z split would be bad for business, bad for Queen Bey and bad for our collective hearts.

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