We found him. The one guy in the world who didn’t know that Jay-Z and Beyonce are married has been located, but not without incident. According to a local news station, the 48 year-old man was stabbed after revealing to a 31 year-old man that he was not aware of popular music’s hottest power-marriage.

Shortly before midnight on New Years Eve, Ronald Deaver of Parma became enraged when a guest at his apartment building said that he did not know that the singer of ‘Countdown’ was married to that of ‘Empire State of Mind.’ The fight escalated into a stabbing, after which Deaver was arrested. The victim (whose name is withheld, because honestly, this level of ignorance is kind of embarrassing) has been listed in good condition by MetroHealth Medical Center.

While this man is more than a little behind (the couple has been married nearly four years, which is a century in Internet time), this just goes to show how important it is to stay up on celebrity news. You just might piss off the wrong person.