When you attend a Britney Spears tour (or her Piece Of Me residency in Las Vegas), you're there for the spectacle: The tightly choreographed routines, the pop smash-ahs, the costumes, the sexy dancers, the video interludes, the hair flips, the props, the flashing lights and, above all, the Living Legend herself.

And sometimes, that Living Legend likes to go...off-script.

It's a truly rare occasion, but every now and then, the Blackout superstar strays away from her otherwise set-in-stone routine to do somethin' a little different. Sometimes, it's to subtly shade the crowd for filling an arena with weed smoke. Other times, she uses the brief breathers in between songs to declare that she's completely over men — womanizers especially. (You know the type.) In one case, a major wardrobe malfunction forced her to accidentally bring the audience's attention to her mmm papi hangin' out. And sometimes, she just gets really, really about Santa's arrival...in, um, the middle of March.

These are some of the best moments of Outburstney (which are often NSFW, just in case your ears can't handle her truth) , from the good ol' glory days of "I thought they were gonna f--kin' vamp?!" to "OMG, A ONE NIGHT STAND!"

Why? Because even B-Girl is allowed to have a human moment sometimes — and that's exactly why we love her so much. (Of course, we know she's not actually human: Only an angel could be so unusual.)

Here's to toe-suckin', vampin' and a verrrrry Merry Britmas!

Britney Spears Over The Years