What's it like to be Meryl Streep—America's most beloved actress, and the most Oscar-nominated performer in history? Don't ask Christina Applegate...

Streep, who's won three Academy Awards and scored 19 nominations across her career, is the subject of Lifetime's latest biopic...or would be, if Funny or Die were at the network's helm. Sadly, there was a grave error in casting the part and, suffice it to say, production's not going exactly as planned.

In the preview of Meryl above, Applegate unconvincingly tackles Streep's roles in Adaptation, Doubt and more with all the gusto of a root vegetable. She's crap as Julia Child in Julie & Julia, a real dud in The Devil Wears Prada and if there's an iota of talent available in her French Lieutenant's Woman undertaking, we must have blinked and missed it.

And just when you think she might finally pull it together as Kramer vs. Kramer's Joanna, she somehow drives the low bar even further underground. "Kramer!" she shouts. "Kramer!"

Plus, ever wonder how Meryl gets emotional enough to cry on cue (onions, evidently?), and if she really is capable of all that humility? Well, Meryl's behind-the-scenes footage will offer a few hypotheses that are likely incorrect — and could conceivably register as defamation from a court's perspective.

Check out the clip for a truly forgettable performance!

See a collection of celebs who nearly died on set: