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‘Glee’ Recap: ‘Previously Unaired Christmas’

Glee 5x08
FOX

In the last ‘Glee‘ episode of 2013, Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) introduces the show’s Christmas episode, which she claims was originally filmed in October of 2012 but was deemed so horrible that it never aired.

This is that supposed episode (with some scenes removed), set last year.

One of the many clubs at McKinley High finds out that the nativity scene on school property was destroyed and they have been tasked with working on creating a living nativity scene in its place. Good thing the club is just basically all of the New Directions, and it is announced that auditions for the nativity will be held later in the week.

In New York, the kids are swapping Christmas presents when Rachel (Lea Michele) arrives to invite Kurt (Chris Colfer) and Santana (Naya Rivera), who is visiting them to be elves with her as a holiday temp job.

Sam (Chord Overstreet) and Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) run into Sue, who reveals that she’s judging the club Christmas trees that year and they must have a green, environmentally conscious theme. She says it will make her super happy to put the glee club in last place.

Back in New York, Rachel, Kurt and Santana are in their elf costumes when Santa arrives and immediately reveals that he’s a giant, misogynistic jerk, making children everywhere upset. As a result the trio sings ‘Here Comes Santa Clause’ to appease the kids. Unfortunately, this doesn’t exactly work.

Meanwhile, getting ready for the tree decorating contest, the New Directions put ornaments on the tree and sing ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’ with montages of the other clubs around the school doing the same.

Santa gets drunk and passes out, so Santana dresses as Mrs. Claus to hear what the kids want for Christmas. Unfortunately, she’s dressed incredibly inappropriately and proceeds to insult the kids and generally just be terrible at her job.

Sue arrives to judge the tree, and as she enters the glee club, hums ‘O Christmas Tree.’ She is impressed by their work, even though it upsets her to say so with their rivalry and all, and tells them she will announce the winner tomorrow. And surprisingly, she actually announces them as the winner.

Although, in an act of kindness they end up giving the award to Becky (Lauren Potter), who didn’t understand what a green tree meant.

The living nativity auditions begin to find a Virgin Mary, which for some reason requires a singing element. For their audition, Unique (Alex Newell), Tina and Marley (Melissa Benoist) sing ‘Mary’s Little Boy Child’ together.

The casting list is put up the next day, with Marley being chosen as the Virgin Mary. Kitty (Becca Tobin) seems upset by this, but she says she doesn’t deserve to be the Virgin Mary because she doesn’t have the Virgin Mary spirit in her heart.

The New Yorkers are about to give up keeping the kids happy when a shirtless Santa named Cody arrives to say he’s going to save the day. A recently single Kurt, who just broke up with Blaine (Darren Criss), invites him back to their house for dinner, and he accepts.

Cody arrives later, still in his sexy (meaning shirtless) Santa outfit. Since he happens to have helium in his bag of presents, the kids huff it and sing ‘The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)’ in their best Alvin and the Chipmunk voices.

Kurt and Cody fool around when the naughty Santa tells the girls that he swings both ways. Bow chicka wow wow. After too much eggnog, a drunken Rachel and Santana wake up the next day covered in tinsel to find that they’ve been robbed. Even worse, Kurt has been bound and gagged and dressed like Rudolph by the evil Cody.

The New Directions work on a plan to help the upset Kitty be the Virgin Mary. When they have their dress rehearsal, Unique arrives in a sparkly dress and announces she will be playing Mary. They then sing the Supremes’ ‘Love Child’ as Unique pretends to go into labor and gives birth. Upset by the destruction of her Christian values, Kitty says they need to do things the right way and announces she will play the Virgin Mary.

In need of a new job, Rachel, Santana and Kurt perform inside a store display for Christmas shoppers and sing ‘Away in a Manger’ while the New Directions do the same for their living nativity scene in Ohio.

Happy holidays, everyone! After tonight’s episode, ‘Glee’ is going on hiatus, but Season 5 will return on Feb. 25, 2014, in a brand-new time slot: Tuesdays at 8PM.

Next: Remember Cory Monteith's Best 'Glee' Moments

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