If you're lucky, you and your dog will share a love of the outdoors. If you're Amy Schumer, you and your dog will share a gynecological condition.

On last night's Inside Amy Schumer episode, the comedian famous for "Milk Milk Lemonade" set her satirical sights on the trend of yuppie puppy-owners who adopt down-on-their-luck dogs just to say they did. And, if it's not immediately evident, most of the canines featured in "Doggy Daycare" would have been better off inside a kennel at the pound.

In the clip, which features Saturday Night Live alum Rachel Dratch, three women drop off their furry friends at the fictional Spot Canine Club and proceed to compare notes on how luckless the creatures used to be (you know, before the ladies oh-so-graciously adopted the pooches).

"Mrs. Belvedere is a rescue from Hurricane Katrina," Dratch not-so-humbly offers. "She was up on this roof with this little boy whose parents had drowned, and I just thought: That little orphan boy can't take care of a dog! So I choppered in and rescued her right off that roof."

"What happened to the boy?" Schumer asks.

"What boy?" Dratch responds, unmoved.

And in the midst of all this one-upping, which includes tales of dogs-versus-police shootouts, pet-specific body dysmorphia and social media addiction, the show's main act volunteers a very...colorful...story:

"Addy's on Valtrex, 'cause we share a prescription," Schumer says. "But that is it for medication, because...family history of addiction."

Thought it might be strange that you and Fluffy dine off the same china? Prepare to feel a little bit better about yourself.