Kids, stay away from drugs and alcohol. Why? Because if you're under the influence, you'll forget that night you charged Katy Perry's stage, kissed her neck until it likely changed color and told her that the Portuguese translation for "pizza" is "pizza."

Perry, who's touring around South and Central America, invited a fan to the stage at the Rock in Rio festival in Brazil on Sunday (September 27). What she got, instead, was a totally out-of-it party girl outfitted in a smiley-face bikini who proceeded to smooch on Katy like the pop star was the only source of water for miles. There's devotion, and then there's...whatever this is.

After failing to nail down the attendee's name in the clip above (NME has listed it as "Rayane," we remain unconvinced), Perry pleads with someone off-stage to deliver a bottle of water to her new sozzled gal pal, and is thanked by a bit of groping. "Woo! that's my boo-boo," she yelps. A simple "You changed my life!" or "'Firework' talked me off the ledge" will often do the trick, Rayane. Let's kindly mind our manners.

"I think she's rolling," Katy ultimately announces to the crowd as her No. 1 continues to swarm her like a collection of hyped-up locusts.

And while most of Rayane's routine is lost in translation, Katy hopes the KatyCat can help out with some translating.

"How do you say 'hello' in Portuguese?" she asks.

"Olá!" Rayane responds.

"How do you say 'pizza'?" Katy follows up.

"Pizza!" Rayane eagerly answers after burrowing into Katy's cape.


Check out the clip for the new standard of stan-excellence.

See a collection of wild stage crashers: