Kim Kardashian Kicks Monday Off With a Nude Selfie, But Who Doesn’t?
Look, you and Kim Kardashian both know how Mondays go. You wake up [flawless], post up [flawless], realize you have to go to work [flawless], mentally evaluate and dismiss every possible way you can get out of putting pants on and leaving the house [flawless], give in and get ready to start your work week because food ain’t free [flawless]. Oh, and you also take a quick nude selfie in the mirror and share it to Instagram. AMIRITE?
That’s how Kim started her day on March 7, anyway, posting a picture of herself in the buff (oh the things those walls and marble floor have seen) with strategically-placed bars over the body parts that delivered and fed North and Saint West. The reality star, ever the fan of a good bathroom selfie, captioned the pic with “When you’re like I have nothing to wear LOL.” Lol!!!!
Given that Kim’s platinum blonde in the photo — for most of 2016 she’s kept her dark hair in the pigtail braids that trend magazines are calling “boxer braids” instead of cornrows, while acting like Kim invented them for some reason — we’re guessing this is a throwback from a year ago. Maybe the nude shot’s just been sitting in her phone (along with all the off-angle outtakes that weren’t post-worthy, again, YOU know how it goes) and she whimsically decided to brighten everybody’s Monday with another good long look at her hot naked bod.
Alternate theory: Kim was trying to distract the many people commenting on her sister Kourtney Kardashian’s Instragram selfie from several hours before, in which Kourtney (accidentally? on purpose? accidentally-on-purpose?) freed a small section of the nipple in a see-through shirt. America is the perpetually giggling 12-year-old boy amid other grownup countries who manage to have nude beaches, so naturally people are freaking out and leaving astute comments including, simply, “nipple” and also “nipple!!” and “Umm…you nipple is showing.” Kourtney seems okay with it, given that the photo’s still up.
It’s also possible that Kim Kardashian’s eternally-on-call glam team gave her a really good wig last night, and she just wanted to show it off. Either way, happy Monday, voyeurs.
Update, 3/8: Kim has since posted a second, possibly-more-recent nude and tweeted Kanye-style responses to Chloe Grace Moretz, Bette Midler and Piers Morgan, who disapproved of the photo.
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