Lily Allen retired from pop music, had two daughters, changed her name (to Lily Rose Cooper, although we don't think that stuck) and then mounted a comeback. She's coming in like a lion, slamming fellow pop stars as "f---ing Botoxed idiots" in her U.K. Esquire cover. Leave it to Lily to mix things up!

First, for the Feb. 2014 cover, Allen looks uh-mazing, with a thicket of black hair, sideswept bangs, volume at the crown, perfectly manicured eyebrows and flawless, expertly applied cat-eyed liner paired with a fuzzy white sweater.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way...

...Allen, who emerged with the new single 'Hard Out Here' earlier this year, explained her perspective and position on the pop universe and how it forced her into an early exodus.

"I'd had enough of people constantly hacking at me," she said about why she stepped away. "And I think once you're exhausted physically and mentally, it does get you down."

The singer revealed that once she was expecting, the people she thought were her BFFs -- in the showbiz realm, at least -- bailed on her, since she couldn't hit the clubs.

"Almost the second I got pregnant and I wasn't able to go out and party, they were suddenly quite nasty," she recalled.

She also cut those cockroach-like opportunists down to size, saying, "There's a way that those people survive, and it's not by being nice. The way they make themselves feel powerful is to ostracize other people."

Allen admits she remains an underdog, despite her massive success and her position as a fashion icon.

She likened the microcosm of pop music to high school and admitted, "It's hard for me because I will eternally feel like that little bullied girl at school, because that's what I was. I feel like when I was growing up and dreaming of being a pop star, it was the days of Britpop when things felt authentic and anarchic, and people were taking drugs and having a lot of fun and having sex with each other and it wasn't fake, it was real."

Allen finished, "So excuse me if I found it a bit disappointing when I arrived and it was a bunch of sterile f---ing Botoxed idiots that stank of desperation."

We can always count on L. Allen to call 'em as she sees 'em.