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Nikki Williams Dishes on Which Hollywood Stars She Would ‘Kill, F—, Marry’

Nikki Williams
Island Def Jam

Despite the fact that South African songstress Nikki Williams has made waves with her viral hit ‘Kill F— Marry,’ she assures us that the song’s lyrical content comes with a disclaimer: “I don’t necessarily want to kill anyone, but if I don’t like a person I’m just like ‘bleh.’”

That less-than-hyped feeling is something we’re all familiar with, and so when Ms. Williams stopped by PopCrush’s offices in N.Y.C., we decided it was time to play a real game of ‘Kill, F—, Marry’ to find out who has made her “bleh” list.

From A-list actors to silly cartoon characters, we asked Williams, who is getting ready to unleash her debut record — she worked with tons of talented songwriters (Sia, to name one) and producers, and says it contains tons of “girl anthems,” including one track called ‘I Love Me’ — to educate us on the kinds of fellas she would shred, bed and wed.

Be warned though, this saucy (and newly single) songstress is hilarious and does not hold back, so you may experience sudden fits of laughter.

Round 1: Russell Crowe, Brad Pitt + George Clooney

Russell Crowe Brad Pitt George Clooney
Chris Jackson / Michael Buckner / Jason Merritt, Getty Images

Williams: What is that movie where Russell Crowe is like a fighter? ‘Gladiator.’ I’d f— him in ‘Gladiator.’ Brad Pitt, I would marry him, just because he ages really well and… well, he’s Brad Pitt. George Clooney, I would kill, because he can’t f—ing settle down with anyone.

Round 2: Homer Simpson, Ned Flanders + Moe Szyslak

Homer Simpson Ned Flanders Moe Szyslak
Fox (3)

Williams: Ugh. I would marry Homer Simpson. Which one is this guy?

PopCrush: That’s Ned Flanders. He’s the Simpson’s really upbeat, religious neighbor.

Williams: Oh, I would f— him! I would definitely f— him. And I would kill [Moe] because he’s always so grumpy.

Round 3: Aladdin, The Beast as a Human + Prince Eric

Aladdin The Beast Prince Eric
Disney

Williams: I would f— the Beast, because since he was a beast, when he becomes a human, he probably totally would be really good in bed. He’ll be like animalistic and stuff, so yes, definitely. I would marry Aladdin because he has a magic carpet, and kill Prince Eric because he was never really that interesting to me. And no one beats the Little Mermaid, because I’d rather marry her instead of him.

Round 4: Ryan Gosling, Channing Tatum + Leonardo DiCaprio

Ryan Gosling Channing Tatum Leonardo DiCaprio
Jason Merritt, Getty Images (3)

Williams: OK, so I just saw the ‘Django’ film in theaters, and Leo plays a villain for like, the first time ever in his whole career. So, I pick Leo to f— as a villain. I would kill Channing Tatum because he’s married already, and I would marry Ryan Gosling because his character in ‘The Notebook’ makes me want to marry him. He’s so sweet and he never gives up, and the kiss! Oh my God! I just cry every time.

Round 5: Beavis, Tom Anderson + Butt-Head

Beavis Tom Anderson Butthead
MTV

Williams: Oh God. I would probably marry Tom Anderson. I would f— Beavis because when he’s on a sugar high he has so much energy, and that’s what I need. And then, I would kill Butt-Head because I don’t like his creepy smile or his braces.

Round 6: George Jetson, Papa Smurf + Fred Flintstone

George Jetson Papa Smurf Fred Flintstone
Hanna-Barbera

Williams: I would kill Papa Smurf because he creeps me out. The other two? Ooh, this is interesting. I… would… marry Fred Flintstone. He’s great. And I would f— the other one, George Jetson. He’s from the future, so I guess he knows some other s—.

Round 7: The Three Stooges

The Three Stooges
Hulton Archive, Getty Images

Williams: Oh no. I would just kill all of them.

Round 8: Peter Griffin, Glenn Quagmire + Cleveland Brown

Peter Griffin Quagmire Cleveland
Fox

Williams: Cleveland, I would marry. He’s so sweet and all he cares about is his wife “Loretta” [said in a perfect Cleveland accent]. Quagmire, I would kill because he probably has an STD and I wouldn’t want to go near that. And I would f— Peter. I would f— Peter because there’s always random sex scenes in ‘Family Guy,’ and if Lois learned to like him, I guess I could too. And plus I’m a chubby chaser.

PopCrush: Who is your ultimate chubby crush?

Williams: John Goodman. ‘Roseanne’ is my favorite show ever. I watch it at like 4 in the morning when it comes on and I’m always like, “Ahhhh!”

John Goodman
ABC

Next: Check Out Nikki on Our Artist to Watch List for 2013

Watch the Nikki Williams ‘Kill, F—, Marry’ Video

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