Noel Gallagher has an opinion on everything ever, and he most recently unleashed his signature, uh, colorful language on the topic of Zayn Malik's decision to quit One Direction.

If you thought Noel was going to impart some heartfelt advice or even a modicum of understanding for the former boyband member, you are probably new to the Internet and are definitely new to the Gallagher brothers. In an interview with Rolling Stone, Noel expressed his total lack of sympathy for Zayn when he said, "It's a strange thing for that lad to have done at that age. The greatest quote was — I laughed out loud when I read it — 'I just want to be a normal 22-year-old.' Pfft. Who wants to be a normal 22-year-old?!"

That's not even the worst of it. He went on to say, "Hang on a minute. You can be f---ing anything that moves and gettin' paid half a million dollars a week, you f---in' idiot. You want to be a normal 22-year-old? Have you met any normal 22-year-olds? They're f---in' shit-for-brains. What are you talking about, you f---in' idiot? God. All those young Japanese girls suckin' me cock. [Sarcastically] So shallow and meaningless. I'll say this to you, Zayn: You might have wanted to be a normal 22-year-old, but you won't want to be a normal 25-year-old [laughs]."

We have different reasons for wanting Zayn back in the band, but, you know, touche.

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