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Paris Hilton Whines About Being Wasted With Wireless in ‘Drunk Text’ Video

Paris Hilton

In a move we’re hoping the DUI poster girl did ironically, Paris Hilton dropped a video for a song called ‘Drunk Text’ today, featuring the aptly named Manufactured Superstars. In one of the most mind-numbing, vapid tracks we’ve ever heard, Hilton shows that LMFAO must have a lot of time on their hands — they’re going to need it with her.
I went out to the club last night to, you know, dance with my bitches.” Hilton opens the song with a small soliloquy that’s already degrading. She goes on to tell a tale of how she met a guy at the club last weekend and they exchanged messages that they both were sorry for. The mensch offers to meet up with her later, “after the club.” He offers her another shot of vodka. Her reaction? “And I’m saying … ‘Sure.’” Is it us or is this the most boring night out ever?

Soon, Hilton is on the dance floor when a guy named Adam texts her. “I’m too lazy to type so I send a photo I took up a dancer’s skirt and tell him to come and get it.” Uh, isn’t that illegal? In any case, whoever Adam is wasn’t pleased with it, because he apparently recognized the nether regions that Hilton violated with her voyeurism. “I should have known they knew each other,” Hilton laments. “No one is safe in the Twittersphere anymore.”

Hilton then explains what “sexting” is, in case there are nine or 90 year olds watching who haven’t heard of it before. “You take the word ‘sex,’” she says, matter of factly, “You add the word ‘texting,’ and it’s ‘sexting.’” It gets better: “You add the words ‘drunk sexting,’ and the words just don’t make sense.” De profundis, Paris.

If you value your I.Q. as much as Hilton appears to value her liver, feel free to indulge in the video below. Once it’s over, you may want a shot to dull the pain.

Watch Manufactured Superstars feat. Paris Hilton ‘Drunk Text’ Video

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