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Pop Propositions: 10 Laws Washington D.C. Should Consider Passing for Mainstream Music-Makers

Joe Raedle / Emily Barnes / Theo Wargo, Getty Images

Good old Washington, D.C. is a lot like Hollywood. Except instead of pop stars and celebs, it’s full of lobbyists, special interests, shady dealings and questionable haircuts. (Okay, so the haircuts are prevalent in Tinsel Town, too.)

The nation’s capitol is where all of our laws get passed, and we have a few ideas of some rules and regulations for celebs like Katy Perry and Justin Bieber, that we wish the people in Congress would take into consideration. Let’s be honest — they’re too busy harassing Jay-Z and Beyonce over a trip to Havana to focus on real issues anyway, so it’s not like we’d be taking them away from anything important.


Matt Kent, Getty Images
Matt Kent, Getty Images

Silence Taylor Swift

 
 

Now, we're not saying Taylor Swift should actually be mute -- but we are saying that she should silence herself next time she wants to sing about an ex-boyfriend (or hire someone to talk about them to Vanity Fair). Maintaining some mystery could only help her, not only in her image (which is arguably overexposed), but also in the very dating life she spews so much lyrical vitriol about.

 
Michael Buckner, Getty Images
Michael Buckner, Getty Images

Ban Saccharine From Selena Gomez

 
 

Selena Gomez is adorable and other than her role in 'Spring Breakers,' she's squeaky clean ... even when she's talking smack passive aggressively about Justin Bieber. Sel, either be genuinely nice or go all out and sass the Biebs directly. No more playing it both ways ... especially when he's taking the high road and is one of the main reasons you're super famous now!

 
Scott Halleran, Getty Images
Scott Halleran, Getty Images

No More Denying Your Roots

 
 

Drake would be fined handsomely for forgetting that he didn't 'Start From the Bottom.' The 'Motto' rapper started from 'Degrassi,' which, if you're unfamiliar, is basically a teenage Canadian soap opera. Saying otherwise would legally constitute fraud and risk his deportation back to his homeland in the Great White North.

 
Kevork Djansezian, Getty Images
Kevork Djansezian, Getty Images

Mandatory eHarmony Accounts

 
 

Maybe Katy Perry would have better luck with men if she didn't date guys with such bad track records, like John Mayer and Russell Brand. By using an online dating site that matches her up with people who have similar character traits, she's a lot more likely to find a good guy -- rather than a bad boy she needs to tame.

 
Theo Wargo, Getty Images
Theo Wargo, Getty Images

Confiscate Justin Bieber's Keys & Cameras

 
 

When Justin Bieber is in another country, there is no need for anyone to have access to his cars or his mansion -- When has that ever ended well for him? Additionally, when Biebs is home, there needs to be confidentiality agreements and cameraphone collections upon entry to avoid more weed photo fiascos. The only people who would object to this ordinance probably work for TMZ.

 
Instagram
Instagram

Shut Up About Weed

 
 

Rihanna, we get it. You love to smoke pot. You've made this very clear. Maybe if marijuana is finally legalized nationwide (@badgal) RiRi will stop thinking she's like, soooo rebellious by posting 42 Instagram photos of blunts labeled "420" every day.

 
Michael Loccisano, Getty Images
Michael Loccisano, Getty Images

Do Not Feed the Trolls

 
 

Chris Brown, stop tweeting. If you can't stop tweeting, at least stop responding to your numerous, vocal and often obnoxious haters. Seriously, be the bigger man until it gives you a nosebleed: This includes ignoring thirsty Tweeters like Jenny Johnson and congratulating Frank Ocean on his success, even if it means lying through your teeth. Bitter, temperamental and angry ain't a good look, bruh.

 
Larry Busacca, Getty Images
Larry Busacca, Getty Images

Miley Cyrus Must Wear a Mouthguard

 
 

For real, Miley Cyrus -- the people have spoken, and they're all pretty tired of seeing your tongue. Exhibit A, the Borgore video where Cyrus' inner mouth muscle is the true star. Come on, Miley, you have such beautiful teeth! Why not just smile pretty with those pearly white choppers instead?

 
Brian Ach, Getty Images
Brian Ach, Getty Images

Two-Year Tattoo Waiting Periods

 
 

Harry Styles and his One Direction mates, save for Niall Horan, seem to be mistaking their bodies for literal canvases, or perhaps just notebook paper, because they can't stop getting what look like middle school doodles inked all over them. Perhaps if they were forced to take a pause in between tattoo appointments, they'd get art that was more meaningful now and less regrettable later.

 
Dave Kotinsky, Getty Images
Dave Kotinsky, Getty Images

Forgive Flaws & Hail the Queen

 
 

Maybe if there were a law that said we have to forgive people for not being perfect, Beyonce may eventually display even just one flaw, if she even possesses a single one. We don't think she does, which is why we'd also set aside one day a month (the 4th, naturally) to revere her mighty pop highness, Queen Bey.

 

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