Where is Simon Cowell when you need him? Not at the Kansas City auditions for tonight’s (Sept. 19) 'X Factor,' where white rapper Rizzloe Jones freestyled -- and found himself upstreamed to the next round.

First things first. Where the hell was Cowell? He too was sick to make it and had to miss the auditions, replaced by Louis Walsh, his counterpart from the British edition of 'X Factor.' Maybe he could have been the voice of reason, questioning why this flaxen-haired chucklehead got a pass? We just weren't feeling it.

The judges were skeptical before Rizz performed, questioning his decision to perform original material. L.A. Reid challenged him to rap about the show, and he answered the call.

But his spunk and his sparkplug delivery won over Reid, who is a man with his finger on the hip-hop pulse. He was into it, and all the judges dug his confidence. Britney Spears said it best when proclaimed that he reminded her of a young “Vanilla Ice Ice Baby.” Those were her exact words.

But we had to agree with Brit Brit. She’s been pretty spot on so far with her critiques and assessments. We know, we’re three eps into 'X Factor' Season 2 so we don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but Brit knows what she’s doing.

Rizzloe's upstreaming was a "WTF" moment, but maybe these wily judges know something we don’t. Could be.