Robin Thicke and Olivia Chisholm made the rather unfortunate decision to tackle Beyonce's 'Crazy in Love' and uh ... where do we start?

Robin said Olivia has what it takes to be a star -- the looks and the voice -- but just lacks confidence. He said he chose 'Crazy in Love' because Bey is "fearless," so he hoped that by singing the song, it would help Olivia break out of her shell.

During their rehearsals, Olivia actually moved her wee little backside, which caused Robin to dramatically stop the music and make a big deal out of it because yeah, that won't make her self-conscious at all. He said now that she's "embracing her sensuality," she can really be "something special."

Then they came out on stage, where Robin hilariously (and not at all ironically) did Jay-Z's spoken bit at the beginning of the song, looking every inch the Canadian white boy that he is. Olivia came out in a gold fringed dress with her mile-long legs on full display, and to her credit, she looked stunning. But the performance itself? Rapidly became a nuclear hot mess.

We're not sure if it was just Olivia and Robin that made it such a disaster, or if 'Crazy in Love' itself simply isn't suited for glorified karaoke. But here's what's certain: Olivia, we know Beyonce. And you, ma'am, are no Beyonce.

But maybe what the judges hear is auto-tuned, because Jennifer Nettles was "blown away" and thought it was "wonderful." Kelly Clarkson said Olivia was magnetic, sounded "bigger and bolder," and added that she "can't wait" to hear Olivia's album.

And then, finally, a little sanity: John Legend talked a lot about how awesome Olivia looked, which we all know is polite reality-show code for "that was kind of the suck." Still, he said it was a "great performance."

Watch Robin Thicke + Olivia Chisholm Perform 'Crazy in Love' on 'Duets'