This week's episode of Empire begins with Lucius killing everyon--KIDDING IT DOESN’T. But it feels like it could, you know?

The episode begins with Andre playing a lackadaisical round of bingo with his previously-assumed-dead grandmother. It’s evident from the start that this woman is sick and volatile but evidently still sharp as a tack. She recognizes Andre as “kin” based on his eyes! How perceptive!!

Also, Becky is amazing. Jamal and Hakeem are shown slaying a song in the recording studio and Becky is seen dancing in cut shots, and it’s hilarious. Hakeem wants to enlist Tiana to sing the female vocal part of his new song, which is a very Hakeem thing to want to do. She hates him, and he doesn’t have a clue.

Back at Empire Records, there’s ~drama~ between the Lyon family over what song they’re going to perform at the ASA Awards. Jamal and Hakeem have no desire to sing “back-up” for Lucius, and Lucius is still power hungry. Candice shows up at Empire Records and throws some serious shade at Cookie, who is wearing fringe. and Candice, who looks poor. It’s clear some serious s--t is going to happen between them.

OKAY ALSO AS FAR AS SCANDALOUS AFFAIRS GO THUS FAR IN THE EPISODE: Jamal hooks up with the head of the ASA’s D-Major, which is amazing because girlfriend has been dry for a long time, and Hakeem records his track with Tiana and stares at her ass. Poor Laura!

The next day at Leviticus, the Lyon’s gather for rehearsal. Just as their argument (yes, there’s an argument) is about to reach it’s peak, Andre shows up with his previously-assumed-dead grandmother. What is this family?! How do they do this?! Also while Lucius is telling Cookie about why he kept her a secret, he brings up the Reagan administration and reminds us all about how they screwed over mentally ill people. Props.

Empire Episode 16
Chuck Hodes, FOX

Lucius has Thirsty attempt to whisk (yes, whisk) presumed-to-be-dead grandma back to the nursing home, but not before Andre (who is on the scene) calls him out on his scheme. She returns home with Lucius, who demands she’s watched like a hawk. Also, Thirsty has Lucius’ reporter-girlfriend Harper kidnapped by some strange men. She leaves her shoe behind. I don’t miss her.

Carol and Candice discuss the importance of keeping Cookie cool and collected, even though Carol wants to tell her how she helped Lucius & Co. murder a slew of her people while she was incarcerated. A mysterious man overhears this conversation, and soon we will see fallout. Also, back at Hakeem’s apartment, Rhonda finally begins to kick it into high-gear and put the pieces together that Anika pushed her down the stairs.

After a tender moment between Lucius and his undead mother at the piano, he arrives at rehearsal for the ASA Awards and blows the whole family away with his new rendition of the song they’re going to perform.

Remember the guy who overheard Candice and Carol’s conversation? He’s an FBI agent! He coyly shows the camera his badge after he buys Carol a drink, and she’s totally screwed.

ALSO, ALSO: sorry, this episode is actually insane. Remember when Rhonda has her flashback in the mid-season premiere after falling down the staircase? And she remembers seeing the bottom of someone’s Louboutin? Well, Anika flashes that exact shoe to Rhonda and she has a that-so-raven moment where she realizes Anika is the bitch that pushed her. AHH!

To finish off the episode, the Lyon's earn their spot as the headliners at the ASA Awards, and Jamal asks D-Major to visit him even though he confronted him over his hush-hush sexuality in a previous scene. This could be really great for Jamal AND really great for Lucius to finally accept his son because there’s no way he’s going to throw shade at the head of the ASA’s if he finds out he’s gay (which we all know he will). Finally, Lucius’ undead mother summons him to the dining room where she’s baked a slew of cakes and forces him to eat. The entire time she’s berating him about how she’d have been better off without him (indicating the sickness), she’s holding a knife. It’s all very Titus Andronicus meets cable TV. It’s delicious.

Basically what we know is that next week’s episode is going to be fire. It’s the ASA Awards, and with grandma Lyon wandering around wielding knives, who knows what’s going to happen?

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