There are good historical dramas, bad historical dramas, and then there is ‘Reign,' a CW-tastic historical drama packed with pretty people, Forever 21 meets ren-faire clothing, and glorious, glorious, teen angst.

The year is 1557. Mary (Adelaide Kane), the teen queen of Scotland has been sequestered at a convent for her protection since she was 9. But after Mary’s food taster goes face down in bowl of porridge with foam coming out of her mouth, the reluctant monarch is whisked off to the French royal court to reunite with her betrothed, the hunky Francis (Toby Regbo), heir to the French throne.

Soon all eyes are on Mary, and her fashion-forward ladies in waiting/BFFS, as she awkwardly greets Francis, the would-be object of her affection. She trips over her tongue. He smiles. For one hot moment it really seems like everything is going to work out between these gorgeous teens! Then Nostradamus (Yes. THE Nostradamus, played here by the rugged Rossif Sutherland) tells Queen Catherine (Megan Follows) that Mary will cost Francis his life. Future MIL already wasn’t too keen on Mar, so this development isn’t going to help.

To make matters worse, French court is kind of a bummer when you’re young and looking for love. Between being distracted by his mistress and worrying about his country, Francis can be a bit of a “moody, arrogant ass," as Mary says. Plus, the King’s tall, dark, and Bastard son, Bash (Torrance Coombs) is definitely flirting with his half-brothers intended. OMG!

Thank goodness Mary and her ladies in waiting, Greer, Kenna, Aylee and Lola (traditional Scottish names) can doll themselves up in Parisian dresses from Anthropologie, get their dance on at a royal wedding, and then sneak a peep at the, ahem, bedding ceremony. Oh, girls will be girls. And sometimes girls will be girls so much that they get super turned on by said bedding ceremony and sneak off to masturbate in a staircase only to be discovered and seduced by the King of France. Kenna, I’m looking at you.

But this is Mary’s life we are talking about here, and not only does she have to suffer assassination attempts to both body and character, she doesn’t know how she feels about Francis or the cold reality of being a pawn in European alliances. Plus, her girls are mad because she sort of inadvertently caused the beheading of Lola’s boyfriend. It’s too much you guys!

But if anyone can handle this awkward situation, it is Mary, Queen of Scots. As the muddled Francis admits, she’s “beautiful, clever, and unpredictable.” Queen Mary is a monarch who will try to do what is right for her friends, her country, and her heart. Long may she reign!

Also, there may be a ghost.