Last Week Today host John Oliver thinks April Fools' Day is a day for sociopaths.

In a web exclusive released Sunday night (March 29), the bespectacled HBO host came down on the April 1 prank holiday with a vengeance. If you are the type of person to be excited about April Fools' Day, he says, you probably also think, "I cannot wait to hurt the people close to me!"

"Close your eyes right now and visualize the greatest practical joke you can possibly imagine," he instructs viewers in a guided exercise. "And now NEVER do that thing you thought of ever. Don't even tell anyone you thought of it. You're a monster!"

Oliver is boycotting April 1 by urging everyone to take the No-Prank Pledge. Raise your right hand and recite the pledge below (or just repeat after Oliver in the video above).

"I solemnly swear that on this April Fools' Day, I will not post a fake engagement photo on Facebook like some kind of a--hole. Nor will I perpetuate a celebrity death hoax, because that makes people sad. In fact, I will not play any practical jokes. And if I see someone planning a prank, I will say to them: 'Hey... you're being a dick right now. Stop being a dick. Stop being a dick. Seriously, stop being a dick'."