Husband Declares Grieving Wife ‘No Longer a Mother’ Following Son’s Passing
For a parent whose child has died, Mother's Day can be filled with mixed emotions.
A woman whose 7-year-old son passed away a few months ago due to an illness took to Reddit to share she was hurt that her husband — her late son's stepdad — didn't get her a Mother's Day gift for a cruel reason.
The woman explained her grief is still "raw," but she tries not to be a "burden" on those around her as she works through her pain.
"My husband has been saying that I've become lazy and neglectful towards home chores, work, etc.," she wrote via Reddit. "He's partially right but those who have been in my place know how hard it is just to get out of bed these days."
The woman noted this was her first Mother's Day without her son. She was hurting a lot, and those close to her tried to cheer her up — well, everyone except her husband.
"I went out for a walk and came home to find that a lot of family and close friends sent gifts to me to cheer me up," she wrote. "Some gifts were like mementos which really touched me."
When her husband came home, she "excitedly showed him what everyone sent for me for Mother's Day. He made a face and said that that was nice."
When she noticed he didn't get her a gift, she asked him why. "He told me he intended to not bring a Mother's Day gift, I asked why and he said [he] didn't feel like I should hear it, but I insisted."
After some pushing, her husband "nonchalantly" told her "it's because he thought I'm no longer a mother," since her son had passed away.
The woman was gutted.
"I was baffled by this response. I blew up on him but he told me he meant this 'technically,'" she wrote. "I asked if he thought that I can no longer call myself a mother just because my son passed. He said no but what he meant to say is that these circumstances are different and refused to expand on his argument."
A huge fight ensued: "I started a big fight with him about it and he went upstairs after saying that I was lashing out at him for no reason and that I should control my temper and has been staying there so far."
Users were quick to comfort the grieving mom in the comments, offering her words of encouragement.
"Your son will always be your son, which means you will always be a mother. There is no such thing as being an ex-mom. Your husband could turn into an ex-husband, though, and maybe he should," one person wrote.
Another commented: "I know a couple of people who have lost children. The best way I can describe them is 'broken.' They have times of joy and carry on, but that loss is ever present."
"Oh my love, you are still a mom. A mom without her child is so awful it doesn't have a name. You have lovely family and friends but your husband… I don't have the words," a third weighed in.