‘Insecure’ Man Says Wife Is Always ‘Looking at Other Men’ When They Go Out
A man on Reddit is feeling "insecure" because his wife is constantly "looking at other men" every time they go out.
"We live in a very popular and touristy place so there are tons of people here and some of which happen to be her type or just attractive in general. So, there's plenty of people to look at, I get it. I understand that there will always be people who are more attractive than me. I also understand we've been together for 15 years and it's possible she is 'bored,' comfortable, not as excited, or whatever you want to call it, with me," he wrote on Reddit.
"When I ask her about it, it's always some coincidence that the attractive guy is in the direction in which she has 'zoned out,'" he continued.
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His wife has "never admitted to looking at other guys," but he doesn't believe her as he thinks it's "a normal thing to do as a human being."
"It feels like she is lying to me, because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I understand it's probable that I am overthinking all of this. But, I still feel a bit insecure that she does it all and on top of it lies to me," he added.
The man doesn't bring it up to his wife anymore because "she has never admitted it and probably won't," but it still "bothers" him and makes him feel bad.
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Users in the comments tried to comfort the man, but many suggested he work on his insecurities.
"If she is truly leering at other men in public, then that should bother you, it’s disrespectful. Attractive people are attractive, we all know this. But it’s rude to your partner — and to the other person, honestly — to stare. But because you say that it happens every time that you go out (really? every single time?), and that you’ve been together for 15 years (it’s been going on for that long and you’ve been putting up with it all that time?), and you think she’s lying to you (why do you think your wife lies to you?) — well, that’s what makes me think that something else is going on. There’s an underlying lack of trust in your relationship — either because she lies to you and you accept that in the relationship, or there’s some reason (based in you or based in your relationship history) that is causing you to interpret her behavior in ungenerous (or even bizarre) ways," one person wrote.
"I think you are assuming she is staring at someone thinking about it being with them. A lot of people, myself included, glance at a million different things, some attractive, some not, some weird, and as soon as we look at them we forget about them. If someone were to get hurt by that it would make no sense to me because those things last only fractions of a second and as soon as they are out of sight they are out of mind," another commented.
"Your insecurities are likely to ruin your relationship far before the things they’re making you fear. I mean, you’re accusing her of lying to you. You did it right here in this post. People don’t really take that very warmly," someone else chimed in.