Woman’s Self-Esteem ‘Shattered’ After Boyfriend’s Family Calls Her ‘Nice but Ugly’
A 28-year-old woman on Reddit says her self-esteem took a major blow after her "incredibly handsome" 30-year-old boyfriend shared what his family really thinks of her appearance.
"I was at home working on a project while he visited his nearby grandparents. When he returned, he shared what he thought was a funny conversation with them. It turns out, his aunt had seen us while we were grocery shopping. I'd never met this woman, and my boyfriend didn't notice her (so I've never exchanged a single word with her), but she described me as 'a girl who seemed nice but ugly,'" the woman recalled.
"His grandparents (who I've also never met) went on to suggest that she might have been shocked to see him, a handsome guy, with someone 'like me,'" she continued on Reddit, adding that her boyfriend relayed their criticism while laughing.
"I asked how he responded, he simply said, 'I told them you're very nice to me indeed.' This has kind of shattered my self-esteem, to be honest. I've been working on my self-confidence in therapy for months, trying to love and accept myself, and now I feel like all that progress has been in vain," the woman explained.
Now, she feels "crushed," as well as "unwanted and terrible," while believing her boyfriend agrees with his rude family.
"I realize I'm fortunate to be with him, as he's a 9, and I often feel like a 3 on my best days. But I always hoped he found me desirable regardless. I don't want to create unnecessary conflict due to my insecurities, so I'm just sharing my feelings... I don't really know what to do," she concluded her post.
Users in the comments slammed the woman's boyfriend for telling her what his family said.
"A weird story of him to tell, feels like negging or he’s totally oblivious, either way it’s a d--k move. No idea what to do because it’s out there and can’t really be taken back…you can convey how hurtful it was and ask what his motives were for sharing that story. It’s interesting he finds it funny as opposed to being offended on your behalf… and on that basis I don’t think you’re fortunate to be with him at all, and if you allow yourself to feel like that, you’ll keep feeling inferior," one person wrote.
"You deserve to be with someone who uplifts you, [makes] you feel good about yourself, and defends you against horrible comments like the one his aunt made. He should never even have told you about that exchange, the fact that he did suggests he wants you to feel bad," another suggested.
"Looks aren’t everything. Leave and find someone who values you for who you are and not what you look like. You deserve better. His family sounds shallow. I feel protective of you because my family is very shallow as well and it took a lot of internal work to de-program myself," someone else commented.
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