Bride Bans Sister With Special Needs From Wedding, Takes to AITA Reddit

A sister was put in a trying situation after she requested that her sister with special needs not attend her wedding.

A 22-year-old bride-to-be sought reassurance and advice on the AITA (Am I The A--hole?) Reddit thread over her wedding situation. She began the post by admitting that the "title sounds awful" but to read the entire post before passing judgement.

The woman explained that her 21-year-old sister Anna "has severe autism" and although she does have some verbal communication, most of how she communicates is physical. "She does speak around family though and has pretty bad cognitive skills. She can't comprehend boundaries and lives with our parents so they can best watch her," she noted.

She and her soon-to-be husband will be tying the knot in three months from the original posting's date with a simple wedding and reception at Michael's parents' barn and farm. She told her parents that she did not want Anna present and "understood that would mean they may not show up."

The future bride shared that the reason she didn't want her there was because Anna "has an issue with touching Michael and trying to kiss him. At times when we were at my parents house Anna would try and grab Michael's hands, try to lean in to kiss him or would have a really bad shutdowns if she wasn't allowed to be directly next to him. We've tried speaking to her but there's only so much we can do when she doesn't really understand."

"I told my parents I just want one day for Michael to be my partner and not Anna's comfort person," she continued. "They called me selfish and asked how I expected them to agree to something like this. They told me Anna is disabled and may never experience a wedding of her own and while I have Michael for probably the rest of our lives she'll have no one and that Michael and I can be a little more understanding to the reality of her life."

The bride said that she feels "like a total a-s" and her parents' words really got to her and make her question her decision. The majority of the commenters
sided with the bride and understood where she was coming from. Days later, the bride updated her post and reported that her parents declined to attend her wedding. They told her that she shouldn't bring Michael around as they believe that she's "chosen some man over my sister."

"They [the parents] told me that Anna wanting to kiss Michael and hug him is normal for a woman her age and that she doesn't understand what her feelings mean. I suggested they try to redirect her during the wedding but they said Michael is gonna be family to her and he needs to 'get over it.'"

The bride then suggested that they all watch the wedding via webcam or have a trained medical professional watch her sister so they can all be there and not cause her sister to have a meltdown. The parents said that it wasn't "fair" and asked if she would pawn her sister off to others when she died.

"I dropped the unfortunate truth bomb that I don't want to put any more of my life aside for Anna anymore. I did it up until I turned 18. And that Anna is not my life's responsibility and I won't be her keeper. I assured them I'd pay for her care but if she's okay doing this to Michael then I worry for if I ever do choose to have children and what she'd do to them. They said I was sick for suggesting she'd do anything to my future children and hung up on me.

After the call, the parents sent her a lengthy text message to not contact them until the bride does "the right thing." The bride has not provided any further updates but did call out and reprimand users who were writing negatively about people with disabilities and "why [her] sister sucks."