Chelsea Handler Assumes Taylor Swift Still Has Her V-Card

When Tina Fey and Amy Poehler joked about Taylor Swift's love life at the Golden Globes, Fey said it was intended in a "crazy-aunt spirit" -- but if you really want to bring the crazy aunt vibe to celebrity dating commentary, you've got to bring in Chelsea Handler.

Because the celebrity gossip beat is nothing if not a 24-hour exercise in stories desperately chasing their own tails, Handler was asked to weigh in on the Fey/Poehler/Swift 'controversy' during her Tuesday (March 5) appearance on Bravo's television-ish show-like thing, 'Watch What Happens Live.'

When Andy Cohen brought up Swift's recent remark that "there's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women," Handler responded, "I think that was a bold statement, but I'm not on anyone's side because I just don't care enough." Which was, of course, a perfectly reasonable response.

But Handler kept on talking.

"I like that she's being that vociferous about something that she thinks they were out to get her," she continued. "They were clearly making a joke just about her demeanor, which is embarrassing. I mean, she's just dated so many men."

But her pointed observation about Swift's love life does not mean that Handler, who rose to fame by writing about her own alcohol-fueled promiscuity, feels a sisterly kinship. "My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it,'" she mused. "And they're like, 'Oh, well, forget it. Then I don't want to date you.' Every guy thinks they're going to devirginize her, and they're not. She's never going to get devirginized, ever, ever, ever, ever."

Ah, that Chelsea Handler. Always so clever, clever, clever. At this point, the only thing left to hope for is Swift getting her revenge by dating 50 Cent and then engaging in a post-breakup rap beef with him.

Watch the Taylor Swift 'I Knew You Were Trouble' Video