Maid of Honor Who Bride Punched in the Face Considering Stepping Away From Friendship
Being a bridesmaid, let alone maid of honor, is a major honor — but it's also a major commitment.
One woman took to Mumsnet explaining she no longer wants to be her friend's maid of honor after already agreeing to the role.
The pair have been friends for decades but have a history of conflict, including a physical altercation. As the wedding day approaches, the woman has experienced "nothing but anxiety" after saying yes.
"We've been friends for 20 years. She came to my wedding as a bridesmaid. Since saying yes to being maid of honor I've regretted it," the woman wrote on the parenting forum, according to The Mirror. "I've tried to get into it but I just can't. I'm a hermit through and through and like peace and quiet in my life. My friend is the opposite and shares every ounce of her life with everybody. We have hugely different views on things which I don't usually mind but now it's in my face so much."
The woman continued that after she was asked to be maid of honor, the bride-to-be told her she was pregnant.
"She'd not been using protection because her partner didn't think it was necessary as they were getting married. I couldn't believe she was surprised she fell pregnant considering the same thing had happened a year ago," the woman wrote, noting her friend decided it wasn't the right time for a baby, a decision she supported.
"But there were hours of phone calls and drama around it. Which took away from my time with my family/children," she continued. "Her partner's reactions also made me feel like they maybe shouldn't get married, or they should wait a bit longer to get to know each other better?"
Adding to her anxiety, she also found out the bride-to-be's three dogs will be at the wedding.
"All have got different elements of behavior issues and all are big, bold breeds," she explained. "One attacks other dogs, the other gets funny around men and the other jumps up at everyone. My husband has said our son is not going because he doesn't trust the situation and although we are dog lovers I am also extremely nervous around other people's dogs (especially ones I know to be a bit 'funny') and the whole idea of it is making me sick to the stomach. I just can't believe she's bringing the dogs into this situation."
In addition, the woman added she's always felt their friendship was one-sided, and that during times when she needed her friend's support, the bride-to-be wasn't there for her.
"The two most prominent moments were when I was stuck in another country ... whilst pregnant, with my beautiful dog becoming more and more ill and I was so lonely and upset but she never returned my call," she wrote. "Then when I finally moved back to England and my beautiful girl got put to sleep, my husband posted about it and then she phoned multiple times until I answered and told me she understood because her brother's fish just died."
"Then after having my son my mental health took a turn for the worse and we ended up in a mom and baby unit," the woman continued. "Having not contacted me at all after he was born she then bombarded my husband with calls about how she can't believe this has happened and she felt like it was all her fault and that she should have done more. When I was well again I just thought it was hugely inconsiderate. She didn't even ask if my husband was alright."
The woman explained she never ignores her friend's calls and always goes out of her way to help her when she needs it, even when it results in her getting punched in the face: "I practically moved in with her when her relationship with her son's father broke down and sorted everything out for her while she grieved, benefits, housing all of it. I even let it go when she punched me in the face because I told her to go to the other room while the father collected some things."
The woman concluded by writing she knows she needs to take a step back from the friendship but doesn't know quite how to tell her friend.
In the comments section, Mumsnet users rallied behind the woman, suggesting she should consider ending the friendship for good.
"I can't understand how this 'friendship' got past her punching you in the face, no matter how much she was 'struggling' at the time," one person wrote.
"You've let her use you like a doormat for years, who the hell stays friends with someone who punches them in the face? Having her own things going on is no excuse for her appalling behavior. Are you afraid of her reaction if you tell her you've changed your mind about being maid of honor?" another questioned.