Woman Devastated After Stepson Calls Grandma ‘Most Important Woman in His Life’ at Wedding
A woman's feelings were hurt after her stepson failed to acknowledge her in a way she deemed appropriate at his wedding.
The woman's husband, i.e. the groom's father, recounted the sticky family situation on Reddit.
"My son got married a month ago and ever since then tensions have been high with my wife and her parents. My wife and I married after the death of my first wife. Our son was 6 when she died. But our relationship had been over for a couple of years before she passed. We had stayed legally married for a while and tried to keep up pretenses for the sake of our son. But we both met people we wanted to be with and then my first wife died," he wrote.
The man didn't introduce his son to his current wife for a while. After his first wife died, he "focused on my son and helping him through the loss of his mom," and so he didn't introduce his son to his new wife for a while.
"My son was 7 when he met my wife and I admit, my wife and I married quickly. He was a few weeks shy of 8 years old. And he struggled with my wife being part of our lives ... He was respectful to her but emotionally distant. He was not affectionate and did not love her," he continued.
Instead, his son turned to his maternal grandmother for motherly love.
"He would call her regularly and would turn to her if I wasn't around and he was upset about something. He would see her as often as he could. And eventually, per the advice of the therapist and after talking to my wife about how she was struggling doing all the parental things but him being emotionally distant with her, I decided she should try to fill more of a friend/aunt kind of role and not that of a parent," he continued.
The man's new wife was OK with the role at first, but it eventually wore on her as her stepson never returned her affection.
Things came to a head during the toasts at the son's wedding, during which he "mentioned his mom and how she was always his number one but how after she died, his grandmother was the most important woman in his life until he met his wife."
His wife was "very upset" and decided to leave.
"I told her I didn't want to leave my son's wedding. She asked how I could stay when he showed how much he doesn't really value her or love her. She left. I stayed," he wrote.
"When I got home she told me she felt abandoned and her parents told me I was a bad husband and I should have put my son in his place and told him only one living woman deserved to be declared the most important woman in his life (besides his wife) and that was my wife," the man concluded.
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Users in the comments section commended the man for having his son's back.
"Sounds like you did things right with your son and his grief. Until the end this was a beautiful story and you should be proud. I'm sure you know that your son turning to his grandma was 'normal.' I think on some level you know your wife's reaction (and her parents') was not. I do sympathize with your wife that her dreams of being his mom didn't work out, but that was naive of her. I can understand her being hurt, but her behavior isn't OK," one person wrote.
"He acknowledged them appropriately, but your wife wanted center stage at someone else’s wedding. The son and [the dad] are class acts, his wife not so much. Kids need parental role models. The son developed one with grandma," another chimed in.
"Your wife was thanked in his speech. He recognized her. She’s had a couple of decades to understand and accept your son being closer to his grandmother. It’s not how she hoped her stepparent relationship would work out and I understand her disappointment but there was no need to be dramatic about it and be especially hurt and make a statement by leaving, even a quiet one," someone else commented.
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