Chappell Roan Was ‘Suicidal’ Growing Up in Midwest, Reveals ‘Severe Depression’ Diagnosis

Chappell Roan got candid about her mental health while growing up and her recent depression diagnosis.

Content warning: Mention of suicide and severe depression, below.

In a new interview with The Guardian the "Good Luck Babe" hitmaker discussed her mental health struggles as a 12-year-old who was dealing with her undiagnosed bipolar II disorder and discovering her sexuality in the Republican dominated Midwest culture. Roan wanted to just feel understood by others.

“I pushed down the gay part of myself so deep because I was like, that can’t possibly be me,” she explained before adding that it was a "very, very lonely" time for her.

Roan said that when growing up, the culture that she grew up in fed into the stereotype, "'Gay means flamboyant, gay man' and lesbian means, 'Butch girl who looks masculine.'" She continued, "There was not an array of queerness. And I was very mentally ill – suicidal for years – and not medicated, because that’s just not a part of Midwest culture. It’s not: ‘Maybe we should get you a psychiatrist.’ It’s: ‘You need God. You need to pray about that.’”

It wasn't until that she moved to Los Angeles in 2018 and visited a drag bar that inspired the song "Pink Pony Club." In that moment, she felt that she found her community and began to acknowledge her sexuality. She described drag as a "spa for my soul."

With her meteoric rise to fame, she has been open about its pitfalls and how she is handling the drastic changes. Roan shared that she is in therapy twice a week. Last week, she visited a psychiatrist who diagnosed her with severe depression.

"I didn’t think I had [depression] because I’m not actually sad," she said. "But I have every symptom of someone who’s severely depressed." Some of her symptoms include a "lackluster viewpoint" along with brain fog, forgetfulness, lack of focus. She believes that the depression is caused be her life changing. Roan said that everything she enjoys to do "now comes with baggage." One of her favorite past times is going thrifting, and now she has to have security and prepare herself for a simple outing.