Photo: Zayn Malik Is the Meat in a Kanye West-Joe Jonas Sandwich
Do you remember the statement Zayn Malik released when he officially left One Direction? If the answer is no, we implore both you and Zayn to refresh your memories and reread it, because it looks like we'll be making sarcastic references to it for a while.
Despite wanting "to be a normal 22-year-old who is able to relax and have some private time out of the spotlight," Zayn's been spotted front row at yet another fashion show, this time at Louis Vuitton in Paris. Our past experiences as normal 22-year-olds also included being sandwiched between Kanye West and Joe Jonas on a regular basis, too, so his decision makes total sense and is very relatable.
What doesn't make sense to us, we must say again, is his white-blond buzz cut. Maybe we just don't understand fashion (or the art of self-sabotage), but while once Zayn's hair was everything, it is now nothing. We're willing to take an ice pick to the part of our brain that stores memories, if only to rid ourselves of this specific one. We will drink bleach if it means erasing his blond phase from our mind's eye.
Neither of those options would lead to anything but death, but perhaps that's the only release we're meant to have from this world -- this terrible world that exists in which One Direction is a band without Zayn, and Zayn's celebrity carries him to the front row of fashion shows. It's a transparent move to stay in the public eye without actually doing anything, and we wouldn't even be mad at his hustle if it weren't for the fact that we'll never hear his signature glory notes live again. (Unless we hear them like this.)
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