No longer content with her current marketing strategy (announcing a restock of her highly coveted lip kits via Instagram mere moments before they go on sale), beauty guru Kylie Jenner made an Oscar-worthy short film unveiling her forthcoming line of lip glosses.

At the clip's opening, Kylie idles in a car outside a seedy motel (doing little more than adjusting her Louis Vuitton headscarf and chewing gum), as one of her cohorts talks vague business inside.

Leaders are there to delegate, after all, which Kylie does with a time-sensitive text that reads, “GAME TIME.” In races model Jasmine Sanders -- who got a tiny boost of household recognition following a recent appearance on MTV's Catfish (not that she needed it) — with a gun and a mildly threatening order to “get the hell on the ground."

She and two other women proceed to kick the crap out of the men they appeared to be negotiating with moments earlier. It's unclear what sparked the ordeal, but everyone looks so beautiful in their cropped sweaters and bodysuits and real-human-hair-extensions that it doesn't really matter.

Unperturbed, Kylie's content to reapply her new LIP GLOSS, available today (April 1) in three variations of beige — creatively titled Like, Literally and So Cute. There's a fair amount of gloss reapplication, actually, even when it's blatantly unnecessary:


But onward and upward! After tossing one of the henchman through a motel window and casually trying to drown another, the four women pile into Kylie's parked convertible and ride off into the desert. In an infuriating display of wealth, they toss wads of cash into the air as they drive away, defeating the whole purpose of the previous two minutes and 30 seconds.

Then they get arrested. Fin.

But wait -- the video also features a song called "3 Strikes" by Terror Jr, an artist who didn't exist anywhere on the Internet before yesterday (March 31). Cue intrigue!

Fans are already speculating that Terror Jr is Kylie's secret musical outfit and this song, her debut -- claims Kylie has yet to confirm or deny, which is a curious move for someone with her phone welded to her palm. Listen to "3 Strikes" above and then check out this super old video of Kylie singing during a car ride below for comparison:

In any case, Kylie's new lip gloss line has yet to go on sale, though she did promise some time today, so be sure to refresh her official site until your fingers bleed!

Kylie Jenner's Style Evolution

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